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Our shoulders are the tightest spots in our bodies, bar none. What makes them different from other muscles, is that they are all day long in a state of high tension, holding up the weight of the head. While your biceps may be larger and stronger than the trapezius muscles, the biceps don’t hold your 8 pound head up all day long, without rest. That reason that the trapezius is much tighter and harder, because it never gets to rest the way the bicep does.

 To drive this point home, try this quick excercise for me: With your dominant hand, squeeze the bicep on your opposite arm. Observe its size, but more so, feel how soft it is when the arm is relaxed. By contrast, squeezing your trapezius will reveal a rock hard muscle, which actually is as tight as your bicep is when your bicep is tense. Try to flex your bicep, feel it with your hand, and understand that your trapezius is always in this state. Remember this, as Ill return to this at the end of the article.

Tight trapeziuses cause headaches in a way tight biceps don’t, so a shoulder rub is one of the best things you can do for someone who experiences tension and stress headaches - whether they are currently experiencing a headache at the moment or not. So just follow these three tips and you’ll make your recipient a happy camper.

Tip # 1: Be behind (and elevated above) the recipient.
If you are not elevated over the recipient as outlined below, your trapeziuses are being worked unnecessarily. You create tension in your own trapeziuses by holding your arms up in the air(which is fine, if you’re a zombie) by placing your hands on the recipients shoulders. What you really want is the kind of alignment you have when you are typing at the keyboard, when your arms are basically hanging off of your body, with the bulk of the remaining weight supported on the table. You can do this in one of two ways - either:

     1: Be on a couch with the recipient on the floor, or

     2: Stand up behind the recipient as they sit on a chair.

The wrong place to do this is in bed, because you are unnecessarily using your own trapeziuses doing it. I know this is a little against your notions of massage, and while there is a place for massage in the bed, this muscle group is better accessed sitting on the couch watching TV.

Tip # 2: Don’t overuse your thumbs.
Over time, you’ll find this to be the most frequently used phrase on this website. If you use your thumbs too much, you will tire quickly, ending the massage prematurely.

As a professional, I leverage my joints and body weight so as to use my thumbs as little as possible. Use the thumbs sparingly so that you have the stamina to give the recipient the kind of shoulder rub they really need. Just firmly knead the muscle with your entire hand, instead of only the thumbs, as you would knead bread, or grip a baseball bat. If that doesn’t do it, use your knuckles, or your fingers pressing straight down on the muscle(when doing that, you are actually touching a different part of the recipients trapezius).

 #2 Most used phase on this website? “You can do this while you are watching TV“. Read this article series, as it is some of the most important and useful content here. 

Tip # 3: Alternate hard kneading with gliding strokes along the body of the muscle.
Not to sound like a treehugger, but we have toxins accumulated in our bodies. Lactic acid after running (a byproduct of continuous muscular effort without enough oxygen) is one toxin you might be familiar with. Our bodies metabolism naturally generates scores of others.

When you massage someone, you literally squeeze toxins out of the muscles and into the bloodstream. So, manually assisting that process is a great thing to do. Work on the recipient, alternating the kneading massage with smooth, gliding strokes, along the body of the muscle, and away from the heart. This aids in getting the fluids(to include lymph) moving through the body, as opposed to merely mechanically effecting the muscle.

These three tips virtually guarantee a very grateful recipient (who should be only too happy to return the favor to you). Use these tips tonight, and share your experiences in the comments below!